Otherwise I like evenings.

But last night was horrible.

I was randomly googling, listening to music and talking to a friend. Then I started to feel a bit bad. And 5-10 min after it, I snapped. Crying, hyperventilating and silently screaming I lay there in my bed for at least 30-45 min before it started to get better. And god was I tired after that. I took out my spiked rug ( well sort of ) and I fell asleep on it in just a few min.

It is very rare that I feel like this while eating my medication. All I can think of is that it's probably because I'm a bit tense and more stressed still, and also that I ate too little of the medicine for a while. I'll give it until the 15:th to stop. If I have another episode before that I'll take it up with the Doc I'm seeing that day. But it should be over soon. I hope anyway.

I don't really want ppl around me to know I have this issue. It's not fun and I feel like a total psycho. On top of it I've now involved another friend in the "secret". I would rather have kept him out of it. Would have been nice if at least one person I know thought I was whole and somewhat sane. But I think that ship has sailed. I don't regret him knowing tho.

I just wish I was sane.