Hell.

Don't you just hate it when you can't drop a topic ?

I realized yesterday that although the comment was said in a joking manner, and he didn't mean any harm by it. It did hurt. And as with everything else that hurts me, ofc I won't tell him to his face. I'll keep it in my self and feel yet again that he's right. I'm not worth anything. I know it's wrong, but I'll do it none the less.

I was talking to my ex about a comment a friend had said. My friend wondered if there was anything going on between a guy and me. And I told her that as far as I know it's just friendship. He's gorgeous ofc but I'm simply not interested in a normal gf-bf relation with him. I don't think she believed me but that's her issue.

Anyways. My ex then says the wonderful comment "even if, I don't think he'd change gf from one social misfit to another". *sigh* Why thank you, so that's what I am. A social misfit. You could have told me earlier that you thought I was that damaged. I swallowed it up and ignored it. But it did hurt. The misfit part hurt.

I wish I was more evil than I am. I'd fuck them all. Make them beg for it, make it hurt. Throw salt in the woulds and then go and hide somewhere where they'd never find me again. Even tho they'd want to, for better or worse. And I'd enjoy the madness I had caused. "Hell hath no fury, like a woman scorned."

No hard feelings dear. I still like you.