Been busy, you know.

I've been climbing and spending a lot of time with Sugar. He's been on vacation now for a few weeks. Awesome times. We're going climbing again today actually. Outdoors. I'm loving it. I've noticed I'm getting stronger. Been trying to climb some 5c routes. It's a challenge alright. But I did get further last time. Gotta keep at it.

Next week he'll be back at work again. Gonna use some of the free time to cath up on a few things. Possibly. Possibly not. Also need to plan on when and how to get some of my stuff back here. I need to take a trip back home. But I really don't wanna. I wanna stay here and have a good time. Being happy doing awesome stuff.

Well, gotta get to bed now. Need to get up early to go do the awesome climbing stuff.

Awesome.

I did go out. It was lovely weather. Sugar found my lost sunglasses. And I burned my shoulders and neck fairly badly in the sun. Watched topless guys climb rocks and had a chat with a girl I've seen in the gym before. Very nice. All in all, a very awesome day. Could only have been better if I had been able to climb my self. But that time will come. Now, I have stuff to do. Give my arms some workout and take my ankle for a rehabilitating walk. And maybe sit down in the sun and do nothing for a while. Just because I can. 

@Sugar's place..

Or rather, in his window.

A random generic red Geranium that he's fostering for me. Seems to be doing just fine. :) Blossoming an all.

My first...

So, yes. Went climbing on Tuesday anyway. Very proud. It wasn't easy to start climbing with many people there and Sugar and his friends watching. But I did it. Very awesome. Started working on a problem I haven't done before. And ofc, one unprepared fall later.... a twisted ankle. My first climbing related accident.

You have no idea how pissed I am that this happened. Good thing Sugar still had his "aircast" from when he got injured. So I borrowed that. And I didn't hurt my ankle as bad as he did, so it won't take me half a year to get back up again. But I'm counting on probably two weeks or so at least. Can only wait and see I guess.

On one hand I don't want to baby my self too much. But on the other, I don't know how careful I should be with this. Crap cakes and bitch buns. I'ma go and pop my foot up now and rest a bit. On the bright side it's a holiday on Friday so it's an extra long weekend. Three whole days of Sugar instead of two. :) Yey !!!

*Poop*, the update.

Because i can.

And now in a much better mood although still alone, and apparently it's raining outside. So yes the hall will probably be full. Shit happens. Anyway, I decided to perk my self up by getting a haircut. Quick and easy since I do it my self. And now I've given the blog a face lift too. Gonna need to take a new selfie for it tho. Since my profile pic is old and inaccurate. Oh well. If only I could lose my headache now. 

*Poop*

Today is climbing day. But the weather outside isn't overly peachy. Which means there will probably be a lot of people at the climbing hall. *poop* With a little luck, most of the might be busy with the top ropes. But I'm still a bit hesitant to climb. Stupid mind. Silly me.

I got stuck thinking about my future again last night, well, almost all day yesterday. So I'm not overly peachy either. Feels like my head is trying to make more problems where there really is none. At least not as big as my head want's it to be. So I'm having a somewhat bad day.

Gonna listen to some music and relax and see if maybe I can get into a better mindset before Sugar quits work and it's time to go. One can always hope.

Oops !

A bit of randomeness from last Thursday. ( Because I still can't let it go lol.) Apparently at some point, I managed to hit Sugar with my camera. *cough* In the face. *cough* I had it in a string around my neck. We didn't think much of it after that. But I had to take a pic of it now. I guess it hit him in just the right wrong spot. Now he kinda looks like he's been in a fight. Oops...

No-go.

I've slept but I'm tired. And my internal organs are in turmoil. I suspect too much dairy and too little water. I would, atm, just like to go back to bed. I don't even feel like playing. I guess I'm having a slightly worse day than normal. And even tho I would like to tell it to go f**c of, I can agree that maybe I just need a little rest today. I'm not really feeling down at least, just experiencing an annoying lack of energy and willpower. *Sigh*

Interesting find.

Was outdoors last weekend and watched people climb. Awesome as always. Got to see a new place I've never been to before too. Ofc I wouldn't be me if I didn't check out the plants in the area. I found a cute one that I've never seen before. It's a "Mullein". ( Kungsljus in Swedish.) Also called flannel leaf or velvet plant. Very appropriate, the leafs are so very soft and nice. Haven't seen how it looks while in bloom. But it still looks like something I'd probably want to have in my garden so I might just pop back there when I have one and take a few seeds or a plant. 

Hoya galore.

I love this flower. 

She's a very slow grower but damn those flowers.So pretty and such a nice fragrance. The first bunch of flowers are still blooming and now the other three are getting close too. And... I noticed today that there is a fourth set of buds growing. Little Miss Tease is going all out this time it seems.

Spring.

Random cuteness I've found lately on my daily walks.
Love Spring.

Up the walls.

Mr Awesome has a fan club. I spotted it before he did, a little while back. They call him their "Peter Parker". It's so cute. :) It's two guys, fairly new to the bouldering scene. But from what I've seen they're doing a good job. And so is Mr Awesome. This pic is from one of the last sessions before they redid the bouldering room. It's had a paint job on one of the walls now and all the routes are rebuilt.  

I admit, I haven't taken as much pics lately as I used to in the beginning. It's because I'm thinking more about trying to get me up on the wall soon. Not sure how soon it will be but I'm working on it atleast. And speaking of working out. I've started exercising. Just some small stuff i can do my self at home. But it's fun so far and feels nice. And I want some more strength i my body before I start trying the walls again. 

Card scrapping galore.

So I've been making a lot of cards lately. A few random ones that can pass for both B-days and other events. And a lot of X-mas cards. In Feb... I'm making x-mas cards. Oh well. Figured I'd be prepared this winter at least. Since I don't know where I'll be, what mood I'll be in and if I have my paper stuff with me.

It's been fun. I only regret not remembering to bring my photos with me here. I had them developed just for the sake of making some layouts this time. They came, I left. And ofc I forgot them. Bugger.

I'm not sure how much longer I'll be staying here this time. If maybe it would be worth it to ask my mom to send them. I've been here for a month now, that's way longer than I expected to. Should have packed more panties and t-shirts even. But I can't complain. It's been very nice. And yes I'm done with the storage shit.

Finally and sadly. So can't really use that as an excuse to stay longer anymore. I can always use my "health" ofc. But I'm not so sure I can fly on that card so much more longer either, lols.

But. If I should use and excuse at all. I should just go for the "I just want to stay here because I love to spend time with him and don't want to leave yet"-card. I wonder how many days I can get out of that. Anyways. I should go and do something more useful now instead of writing nonsense here. Maybe a few more cards.

I did take a walk today tho, and went to socialize with my friend L. So I haven't wasted the whole day. The walk was a really good idea. I should try to get some squats in today too and all will be just perfect.

Climbing porn.

Because it's fun and I wanted some new background imgs for my phone... And the people who owned the ropes just left them there without supervision. Then this is what happens. Climbing porn. Ecchi version.

Depressed rant.

I still find life very confusing, annoying and very hard to deal with. I have always wondered ( and still do ) why it looks so much more complicated for me.

Why did I have to be a shy child when I grew up. Why didn't I have a good relationship with my father. Why is it sometimes so hard to see when I can do and say some things and when it's a bad moment. Why was it so hard to make friends. Why was it so horribly hard to even talk to people. Why did they have to pick on me when I did mistakes. Why do I meet so many weird people that aren't good for me. Why did that thing have to happen....

I want to be better. I want to be good. And at the same time I wonder, why bother? What do I want to be good for ? Me ? Others ? I want to be loved, liked. Ofc, everyone does. I want people to seek me out, want to do things with me. Be happy with me. Not stab me in the back and freeze me out. Point fingers at me and whisper when I walk by. But they don't do that now do they ? That was years ago. Why is it so hard to let go of. Why can't I move forward. Am I depressed ? Am I just down and under. When did I lose my cheerfulness I used to have. Where did I go wrong....

I don't know what to do for me. I don't know what I want. Even tho I can tell you about things I'd like. In the end, I don't know. Nothing. What am I. Life can be hard for everyone. Why did I cope with it so badly ? I know, I'm having a bad day. Maybe even a bad week. Who cares. I know that later tonight or tomorrow. things will look better and I won't understand why I wrote all this. But it's still all true. I have to get a life. Do something. So I'll go forward again.

And last but not least. I wonder how much good it would do, to tell someone about what happened. Cuz apparently it's still on my mind. Do I need them to know so that I will feel better ? And is it worth it at the cost of how they will feel when hearing about it ? Is it my right to decide for them ? Oh lord sometimes I wish I was religious. I have to stop giving my self more problems than I already have. And not make things that aren't a problem, into one. I need some happy music, and a hug. A big hug. And quite possibly a piece of cake. Yeah. That would be awesome.

F#!k...

Oh this is a bad day. I slept badly, woke up a few times and felt a headache. Woke up this afternoon then and noticed the headache was still there. I'm freezing, feeling lazy and not motivated at all. I'm down and insecure and worried. Still got a mountain of boxes to take care of and a friend I should try to get a hold of and meet. *sigh* I can make up more excuses but it doesn't matter. The fuck to do...

Little boxes...

I keep getting that song in my head. Tho my boxes aren't that small. Most of them are the Ikea type. So yeah, I'm still here. Still working on moving them from one storage to the other. I have made some progress. Not as fast as some may want. But I don't want to go home just yet.

First of all my nose is back to normal, pretty much. And second, I like it here. I get into some interesting moments tho. Quite a few ppl have asked if I'm moving. Just today, earlier as I was going out. I met the neighbor living next door to my friend.

They've seen me walking around here with the boxes ofc and asked if I was ( sort of finally ) moving in here now. Wops. No sorry. I'm just borrowing some space for all my junk. *sigh* But I hope, really hope. That it won't be too long until I can have "my own"/ a home.

Moar flower power.

I'm visiting Sugar and my plants atm.

Taking some time of from thinking about the storage mess by taking care of the flowers. ( Yes I know I should do more "doing" and less "thinking", I will. ) Some of them just need some tlc, some need a whole new pot and soil. 

And one of them I threw away. I felt too sorry for it. It wasn't doing well at all. One of those "I don't want to to live what ever you do to me" plants. Shit happens. The plant in the img here is going to get a whole new pot and soil. It had pretty much migrated out of the pot by doing these "babies". Poor baby...

But shit happens. Quite a lot with these flowers. I had one once that I needed to re-plant once every year cuz he kept trying to escape the pot. Maybe I should have taken the hint ? Or something. ^^

Seeds of happiness.

I've been good today. Replanting some flowers and digging through my storage once again. At least this time I found everything I wanted to find. Which was a few books, some flavored coffee and a mini coffee maker. Oh and yes, a few pots and soil ofc. I admit the soil wasn't top quality anymore but it worked, and a shame to throw away. I took the liberty of replanting a flower for my most awesome host and plant caretaker too. Forgot to take a pic of that tho, not that it matters much.

I also went to IKEA a few days ago. ( My but didn't like that. I hate the saddle on my bike. ) Didn't really need anything, just happened to be in the area. Lol. :-P But I found a set of 3 green paper cups with seeds. Thyme, Coriander and Basil. Cost me only 19:- sek so I had to buy it. I'm a sucker for growing stuff I know.  The same day my mom sent me an sms saying that the bunch of seeds we ordered online had arrived. Awesomeness. And it's soon time to start growing the first ones.

The mishap with all my seeds going down the drain doesn't feel that bad now. I've got new seeds and months of seeding and plant care in front of me. Spring should come around the corner in not too many weeks and I've started the work on applying to that florist school I found. Things are looking very peachy right now. I just hope I get accepted. Only bad thing is that my mood has been like a small roller coaster for a few days now but it's a good day today. Let's hope for more like it. :-)

From the mountain o' boxes.

So yes. Still not home. Still away enjoying my visit and my friends most awesome company. I had some work here to do and yes it's been done. My furniture and the rest of the stuff I left in the apartment has now been moved into a storage room for the time being. Not a pretty or fun sight but had to be done. Can hardly wait until the time comes when I can move it into my own place. When ever and where ever that will be.

I've been thinking about the moving a lot lately, again. And I'm wondering if I've made the right decision to move back down here. I think I have, but I know I'm going to miss my mom when I move. She likes having me at home again and I can't blame her. But honestly, I can't live there forever. And I really like this city. But can I make it here alone with just a small handful of friends ? I hope and think so. Having no friends is harder than just having a few.

*Sigh* Oh well. Gotta go now. I still have some work left to do with those stupid boxes. I was supposed to take a quiet easy moment for my self here now and play a little. But it seems the server had to go down for maintenance or something. Bummer. So I guess it's just me and the boxes then. Too bad I don't have anyone to keep me company while I'm in there digging. Would have made it a whole lot better and endurable.