Lazy dayz.

I woke up today, not really thinking about anything.

It was awesome. Even after I was fully awake I stayed in bed at least 30 min, just watching the ceiling and anything else that caught my eye. This must have been the first time in ages that I didn't feel the need to instantly get out of bed. I liked it. I didn't get out of bed until 12. Ye I know, it's late. I'm allowing my self a few days of easy sleepy bedtimes. We'll get down to business soon enough anyway.

However, I think I might have to learn how to eat breakfast again. Pretty soon too.

Home is where your toothbrush is.

And right now, that toothbrush is in a cold little place about 30 miles up from where it used to be for the past.... oh 6 years or so. That, feels very strange.

The last week of living in Lkpg I found out that there actually are friends in swe that are as good as my swiss friends. And a few days after that light bulb, I sat on a train away from there. It makes me wonder, would I have tried staying there if I'd known this earlier ? Maybe. But then again, I really missed my family. And although I feel a bit lonely up here, I think it was the right thing to do.

Some days ago I got a care package from Swiss. Dear Mr Awesome sent it to me. Some yummy yummy chocolate and 2 Mangas. The books are in German ofc. They're gonna help me try to learn and understand German. I did bring my study book too. I'm thinking, if maybe I should go all out on this challenge. Study like a mad man ( well, woman ). Could I do it ? A year ago I would have said no.

But, you don't know until you've tried, right ? And to sit on a chair and say "I wish I could this and that", and then never really put your heart into it... that's just stupid isn't it ?

Just another day.

Today I tried calling the social services. It didn't work. I've also cleaned up a kitchen, spilled my coffee on the sofa ( while dancing on said sofa ) and moved my speakers from my stationary pc to ( yep, the same ) sofa. I might not like it very much but my headquarters for the time being is my ex husbands living room. For how long? I don't know...

Tomorrow I'm going to play loud music and dance my ass of while packing and sorting another box of shit ( aka my stuff ). I've got one or two phone calls to make but other than that, the priority is the god damn packing. *sigh* Sometimes I feel like leaving everything here and tell Dave to burn it or something. But I know I'd regret it later.

What I can do tho, is go to sleep. And that's what I'm going to do right now. With pleasure... and no fucking alarm bell to wake me up in the morning. Gotta enjoy the peace as long as it lasts. Sooner or later I'll get a job and then it's over. But I'm not complaining. I'm looking forward to managing my own life and working. *yawn* Sleep. Right.

Ba ba.

(S)aint.

"You said I tasted famous so I drew you a heart. But I'm not an artist, I'm a fucking work of art."

I'm listening to Marilyn Manson - (S)aint, trying to figure out if this lump in my throat is something caused by bad food, sickness or mental issues. I'm leaning more towards the later. Still a good song tho, I really like it.

I'm back down in Linköping. It feels like crap, can't wait to get back to my moms house again. But I've got things to do and stuff to take care of. Fortunately for me, nothing important can be done before Monday so I've got a whole day more to do nothing at all. Today I've watched a bunch of Bleach episodes. Awesomeness. Tomorrow I only have one thing planned, except from the silly long sleep-in I'm going to do. I'm gonna go to a movie with 2 friends. It will be most excellent I'm sure.

Right now tho I've got teeth to brush and a date with my bed.
"I've got an F and a C and I've got a K too and the only thing that's missing is a bitch like U."

Here's a thought...

It's Sunday.

That means it's Monday tomorrow. ( Most obvious comment of the year, so far. ) And that means that tomorrow, I have a very uncomfortable phone call to make. Last time I was positive, even tho I should have known that it would go to hell. This time I'm as far from optimistic as can be. But this time maybe it will work.

I guess it depends on how heartless and stupid the person I talk to is. I'm not saying everyone there is, I'm just saying I don't always agree with their train of thoughts. Speaking of thoughts, I wonder when I'm getting that next appointment and ass-whooping at the unemployment agency. I have a feeling it's gonna hurt.